cut the cord

Why it is so difficult to walk away from psychological abuse?

Because we are desperate for validation from our abuser. How long I struggled to explain the truth - how I needed him to see! How important it was for me to reveal reality, expose the contradictions, know that he finally understood so my goodness could be redeemed. I couldn't bear to live with him believing things about my intentions and beliefs that were so false, so insulting and unlike me in every way. But that validation never came, nor would it ever have come.

Reality does not inform the malignant narcissist's actions and beliefs....no amount of logic and proof can inform his thinking once he has decided to believe something. He designs reality to suit his objectives and believes whatever reality is convenient at that time. He does not notice or chooses to disregard his own contradictions. Like a mirror shattered into a thousand pieces....everything is fragmented. The big picture reminds me of a Picasso - things don't fit together properly.....something is off.

The only way to heal is to walk away and never look back. Cut the cord. Every communication will re-awaken that desperate need for validation, and again and again you will suffer the blow of feigned understanding and progress which ends in unfulfilled hopes.

They will never change and the relationship will never get better - you will only become more numb, build a higher tolerance, not notice your own suffering.

But once you walk away you will begin to be strengthened by your own life. Things are what they seem again and the predictability of life brings comfort. Life no longer confuses. People are as they seem. Cause and effect obey the laws of physics. Mental illness can be contagious, especially for good and giving people who have a lot of love in their hearts.

Happiness - A Choice

I've covered solid ground on the new road of happiness. All along the way the signs said "this is what love is," and I knew without any uncertainty that it was true. If anyone causes you grief and sadness walk the other way. Our legs enable us to choose our own path. I have chosen not to choose suffering.